Create Lasting Affection

in your marriage

 

Create Lasting Affection

with your Family

Create Lasting Affection

in your interpersonal relationships

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Welcome to Lasting Affection!

Mental health wellness, news, and information


 

Tuesday
Mar152016

"Fighting Well" Can Strengthen Your Relationship

Many people have asked about my approach in doing couple therapy but I have not found a good way to share that with my audience until now. I have been trained by Dr. Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT,  a clinician, researcher, teacher, developer of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy® (PACT), and my mentor. I have been so blessed by his work and wanted to share with my audience his PACT approach which I use with my clients. Here is a link to a FOXNews.com interview with Dr. Stan Tatkin that will give you a better idea of how I do couple therapy. The interview is titled "How 'Fighting Well' Can Strengthen Your Relationship." He shares about the importance of understanding how the brain works so we can know how to take care of our partner. Learning how to be attuned to your partner's facial expression and body language, and knowing how to reduce threat, are some skills my clients learn. Just click the above link and see for yourself.

Sunday
Mar132016

Do couples need to solve all their problems?

After 15 years of research, the University of Denver develped the Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP) to help couples overcome problems in their relatioships. However, they found that 70 percent of the issues couples deal with don't really need to be solved, just well discussed! Have you tried to have full discussions about an issue where you both listened well and really heard each other? Try it out and let me know what happened. If you find yourselves having difficulty doing this, maybe it's time to seek some help with communication skills. Learn the skills to undue the negative patterns before it's too late.

Thursday
Nov262015

A Grateful Heart Makes Relationships Fonder

          Every year during Thanksgiving we have the tradition of thinking of things we are grateful for. Some people seem to be blessed with so much and have many reasons to be grateful, but others may find few things to be grateful for.  People often think of the big things that they are grateful for like a new promotion, a newborn baby, marrying the love of your life, or going on a vacation they've always dreamed of. These are definitely things to be grateful for but what about the many things that we do receive that are seemingly insignificant which we often take for granted?  Here is my list of things I have not shared before that I am grateful for. 

  •     My husband’s ability to forgive me when I keep doing things that irritate him
  •     My children’s patience when I nag them after saying I wouldn’t do it
  •     The people who don’t usually come to see me but showed up to pray for me when I was bedridden
  •     My sister-in-laws’ delicious food, gifts, and friendships
  •     Those who thought of me and sent me a texts, email, Facebook shout-outs, likes, birthday cards and holiday cards
  •     My mechanic brothers who saved me a ton of time and money
  •     Nephews and nieces who are so polite, kind, and respectful
  •     Those who thought of me and packed me food from an event I was not able to attend
  •     My mother-in-law’s thoughtfulness in packing me treats from special events
  •     My father-in-law who never fails to give my kids a lift when I am not able
  •     My mom’s fish she caught and special bread that she makes
  •     My brother-in-laws’ care and friendship with my teenage boys
  •     My pastor’s optimism that is contagious
  •     Mienh class students and children’s choir who bring me joy
  •     Those at my church who bless me through their gratitude and words of encouragement
  •     Support and encouragements from my colleagues/friends

 

          What about your list? These things may seem unimportant but they are like webs that bind relationships together to make them strong and lasting. The things of this world get old, break, and get tossed out, but memories of loving kindness in your relationships will not be forgotten. Remember that people may forget what you say but they will always remember how you made them feel.

          Gratitude is great medicine for mental health and interpersonal relationships. This Thanksgiving, take time to thank those who have blessed you. Although it may seem insignificant to them, it was important to you; so bless them by expressing your gratitude for how they have made a difference in your life.

  Happy Thanksgiving!!

 

Tuesday
Jul282015

Should I go get counseling?

Going to see a therapist is just going to talk to a professional who will be objective and help you see how your current thoughts and behaviors might be keeping you stuck. Although I am a trained Bowen Family Systems Therapist, I find myself drawing principles from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) framework to help my clients. My clients find that CBT is easy to use in resolving their problems. CBT in Mey's terms is learning how one's thinking affects one's  emotions and therefore determine one's behavior and then learning how you can change your thoughts so that you can change your emotional state and behavior. Our thinking changes our attitude and it can change our reality. Talking to a therapist can help you change yours. I have never posted something I've seen on social media, but the below post explains how our thoughts affect us. Read to the bottom and then from the bottom back up. Enjoy!

Thursday
May282015

Anxiety Group Workshop

Are you or your loved one suffering from Anxiety and panic attacks? Then this group will be very helpful. Learn those skills that I provide for my clients in private practice at a discounted price!