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« Stage Three: Consistency | Main | Stages of Trust »
Tuesday
Nov212017

Stage Two : Caution

Notice that I skipped posting Stage One: Connection. This is the stage where you meet someone and you just "click" with them. It feels so right; conversations flow naturally; and the feelings that arises are amazing!

After that comes Stage Two: Caution. "Caution," because you need to take it slow as you're learning who this person is and how you are with this person. The time you spend together is with the intention to learn about his/her relationships with their family, friends, and co-workers. What is this person's temperament like? Is this a safe person? Is this person truly interested in you and care about you? 

We are all on our best behavior when we first meet someone because our hormones are at work, but over time the hormones will die down. Take time to learn about yourself in relationship with this person. Do you like this person, or do you like your fantasy or the potential of this person? How do you both resolve conflicts and do you repair well or do you just avoid conflicts by giving this person hundreds of excuses?

I don't believe in "Love at first sight." It rarely happens. The intimacy that we all desire only comes from getting to know each other over time, in different circumstances, through many tests and challenges that life has to offer. Slow down the pace. Don't go too fast emotionally and physically. When you go too fast too soon, you may end up with regrets and when you do want to slow down, it will be hard to do so. Take it slow; continue the relationship with caution.

 

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